


(They’re Not Enough) Those Three Words

by slighter_writer



Category: Choices - Fandom, Choices - Stories you play, Endless Summer (Visual Novel), Pixelberry
Genre: Alternate tent scene in chapter 12 of book 2, An attempt at writing in third person, Comforting, Estela doesn’t deserve a tenth of the crap she’s been through, F/M, I have an unhealthy addiction to songfics, My MC has a huge martyr complex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 23:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13512417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slighter_writer/pseuds/slighter_writer
Summary: Pillow talk before it all goes down.





	(They’re Not Enough) Those Three Words

**Author's Note:**

> Song is “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol.

_If I lay here,_

_If I just lay here,_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

Hadean constellations shone through the opening of the tent’s roof. Taylor, for all the times he marveled at their sight, couldn’t wait to be rid of them.

Tomorrow, they’d all be back home.

It almost felt too good to be true, although Taylor tried to think positive to keep from tormenting himself with worry. It kept gnawing at him, the feeling that tomorrow would be no different than the other escape attempts from La Huerta. That there would be a nasty surprise waiting, just like with Jake’s plane, the observatory, and the marina.

He didn’t want to think about that though. He’d cross that bridge when he got to it. So he pushed away all worry, and joined Estela in her tent. As the two of them lay together under the stars, Taylor basked in the warmth he was getting from the closeness of their bodies. He gazed at the tenderness that would show in Estela’s eyes when she let her guard down.

She was the first to break the gaze, a flash of sadness marring her features.

“Is something wrong?” Taylor brushed his thumb across Estela’s cheek.

“There’s…” she gave a deep sigh. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

“What is it?”

Estela told Taylor her plan to stay behind on the island to hunt Rourke and Lila. All that would run through his head was the vision Estela’s Catalyst Idol showed him.

“I’m sorry, Taylor,” She took both of his hands in hers. “I want to go with you. But I _can’t_. I can’t leave this place while they still draw breath.”

“Estela,” Taylor tried to keep his voice from trembling. “After everything we risked to get off the island, you _need_ to let this go.”

“She wasn’t your mother,” her eyes hardened. “You don’t understand.”

The shots fired on Estela’s bleeding form echoed in his mind.

“You don’t get it…I…I…”

_I watched you die. I watched you and eight of our friends die. I saw your_ graves _._

_And it was all because of this damn island._

“ _What_ don’t I get?” She was getting more frustrated. “Taylor, I’m not going to let them get away with everything-”

“I saw you die, okay?” Taylor couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Your need to get revenge on Rourke is going to kill you!” He froze. _Shit._ After how much he tried to hide the secret of the idols for fear of terrifying his friends, he just spilled the beans.

“What?” Estela’s brow furrowed in obvious confusion. “What do you mean you saw me die?”

Taylor sighed, knowing there wasn’t any getting around this. He just hoped that with everything that’s happened so far, the visions he got from the idols wouldn’t sound too farfetched.

“Well…you noticed that when we find a Catalyst Idol, I…” he trailed off.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost every time you and the person they represent touch it together,” she finished bluntly.

Taylor nodded. “They showed me these visions. First a scene from of their past…and then…their future.”

He prayed Estela would believe him, like she did about his dream of her in their first few days on La Huerta, and that she wouldn’t hate him for seeing that part of her past.

“Why are you just telling me this _now_?” Estela looked hurt when she asked.

“I…I didn’t know how to tell you,” there wasn’t any mirth in Taylor’s chuckle. “I mean, there wasn’t any easy way to break the news.”

Estela was silent for a moment, studying him for a while longer. “You really saw me die?”

Taylor nodded.

“It was because I stayed on the island?”

“Rourke , he…he…”

“You don’t have to talk about it.”

“Yes I do,” his breath was shaky. He’d hate himself for telling her something so horrifying, but the only way to keep her alive was if she knew.

“He tricked you…he distracted you with a holographic version of himself, and then…then he…” Taylor suddenly found himself out of breath and shuddering.

“Hey,” Estela pulled him into a hug. “I’m right here. I’m alright.”

“He _killed_ you, Estela,” Taylor choked. “He took advantage of your hate and _killed_ you. Now do you get it? The visions aren’t set in stone. But if you stay here, then…then it might…” It was funny. With everything that’s happened in the past days, finishing _one sentence_ was what proved to be impossible.

“Taylor…,” she pulled away to face him. “I can’t just give this up. Not after everything.”

“Estela, Rourke and Lila will face justice. When we get back, we’ll get a ton of media attention, and we can expose them. They’ll pay for what they’ve done, and you’ll be able to move on. And _live_. Live your life and be happy.”

Estela closed her eyes and leaned in closer to Taylor. “I’ve been chasing all this for so long, I…I’m not sure I’ll know how to do anything else. I don’t think I know how to let go.”

Taylor pressed a kiss into her hair. “We can figure it out. Together.”

_Forget what we're told,_

_Before we get too old,_

_Show me a garden that's bursting into life,_

Estela blushed as she opened her mouth to say something, hesitating for a moment. “So, what part of my past did you see?”

“It was at Hartfeld,” Taylor answered. “You were reading in the library, and Aleister sat with you. He made you feel better after some girls were talking about you behind your back.”

Estela smiled bitterly. “Yeah, I remember that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Intruding on your past like that,” Taylor hoped she wouldn’t get mad, even though she just looked an anxious when she asked him.

“It’s fine,” Estela dismissed. “If there’s anyone I trust with a memory like that, it’s you.”

Taylor smiled. Her trust in him was something he’d always be grateful for. “Did you and Aleister ever hang out after that?”

“No…” her face fell a little. “We sometimes nodded at each other when we passed by, but that’s about it.”

_A shame_ , Taylor thought. If it wasn’t for everything that was going on, he had the feeling the two could be good friends.

“Did you have _any_ friends the time you’ve been at Hartfeld?” He asked hesitantly.

“I was on a mission, remember? I didn’t have time to make friends.”

He didn’t want to bring up anything unpleasant for her, so he decided to leave it at that. But Taylor guessed his expression did the talking for him.

“It wasn’t _that_ bad,” Estela asserted. “I can handle someone talking shit…but…” She scowled, looking away. “It’s stupid, I…”

“It still hurts though,” Taylor finished, taking her hand gently. “That’s not stupid at all, Estela.”

She sighed. “It makes me think back to what you said that night at the party, when we got here.” Taylor remembered. Not counting the six months lost by jumping through time with the portal gun, that first night spent on La Huerta seemed so long ago.

_“Maybe people just want to be liked in return.”_

_“Isn’t that pathetic? How lonely we all are?”_

“You’ve got a bunch of friends now, so you’re not doing too bad.”

“I only got to know all of you through circumstance. Otherwise I’d be the pariah I was at Hartfeld. Plus, they didn’t trust me.”

“Keyword is _didn’t_. Everyone trusts you now that they know you better.”

“They’re probably just scared of me. Too scared to say anything.”

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Taylor said firmly. “If the others didn’t like you, then you’d definitely know.”

“I…I guess,” Estela fiddled with a strand of her hair.

“Well I _know_ ,” Taylor refused to stop. “With the way you’re always looking out for everyone, how you’re showing how much you care, we _all_ know you’re a great person. Anyone with an ounce of decency would see that you’re someone who’d be a great friend.”

Her eyes looked like they were gazing at a far off place. “Looking back now, I just feel like there’s so much I missed out on. At Hartfeld, every time I thought about doing normal college student stuff, I’d just remember what I came to do. But now, I want to give it all a try. Hell, I’m actually looking forward to that dumb brunch Michelle promised to drag me to.”

“Look at you,” Taylor grinned. “You’re making friends without even trying.”

_Let's waste time,_

_Chasing cars,_

_Around our heads,_

Estela laughed a bit. “Shut up,” she tried to hide her smile in her pillow. Estela was quiet for a while before her smile vanished completely and her eyes hardened. “Hey, Taylor?”

“Yeah?”

“The idol you found in Cetus, that one’s yours, right?”

Taylor just nodded, remembering the graves.

“Did you see a vision of…of _your_ future when you touched it?”

He guessed that he was seeing in her now what he looked like every time he touched an idol; the resolve to fight against the future. She must have suspected that the vision from his own idol showed him something as bad as the vision from hers.

“I didn’t see my death,” Taylor said quickly.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing…”

“Taylor,” her voice turned to steel. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I-I’m not, I just…”

“You’re shaking.”

“Am I?” He could hear his voice edge on hysterical.

“You can tell me,” Estela insisted, gripping his hands, and their warmth made him realize how cold his body became. “Taylor, let me help you.”

“Really, it’s fine, I didn’t see myself die so what does it matter? I mean-”

“Goddammit, I’m sick of this,” Estela hissed. “I keep seeing you encouraging everyone all the time, trying to lift our spirits, but every time someone tries to do the same for _you_ , you just brush it off and pretend nothing’s wrong. And it _pisses me off_. You’re important to me. You should know that by now. So quit dicking around, and let me help you,” she held his face gently but firmly. “Whatever you saw, we’ll fight it together.”

Taylor squeezed his eyes shut and the words were forced out like bile. “I…I saw eleven graves.”

Estela’s eyes widened. “You mean one for all of us.”

He nodded.

“Taylor…did _every_ idol show you…?”

The next nod came more slowly.

“You’ve been dealing with this the whole time? You haven’t told _anyone_?”

“How do you think the others would take it? With everything that’s happening, they don’t need the burden of hearing about their _death_ , and I’m _so_ sorry for doing that to you, it just slipped. I didn’t want to freak you out-”

“Shut up,” Estela hugged him. “Don’t be sorry. What I’m mad about is you taking a burden like this all on your own.”

“I didn’t want to scare anyone,” Taylor admitted. “And if it showed me how to save you all, then it was worth it.”

_I need your grace,_

_To remind me,_

_To find my own,_

Estela made Taylor face her and she glared at him. “Listen good, because I’m going to make sure you get this if I have to yell it in your damn ear, over and over again. You. Are. Not. Alone. You never were. With the way you always look out for everyone, what makes you think we wouldn’t want to do the same? It should be obvious by now that everyone’s backing you up. Got it? You’re not alone Taylor. You have all of us,” Estela blushed but her face stayed resolute. “And you have me.”

Taylor was at a loss for words, so she continued.

“So stop pretending like everything’s okay with you. Don’t hold it in anymore. Let it out.”

Taylor was shaking again, and the dam holding everything back just vanished. “I’m _scared_ Estela,” Taylor breathed. “Fuck, I’m so scared, I don’t have anyone else left, I can’t lose any of you I _can’t_.”

Estela didn’t say anything. She just hugged him and rubbed circles on his back as he let everything out. Taylor wasn’t sure what he was ever saying at a certain point, his mouth taking a life of its own as it entrusted her with all his fears.

Finally, he took a deep breath when there wasn’t any more he could say. Estela looked him in the eye. “Taylor, I won’t tell you everything is going to be okay. But you need to know we have a better chance than you think. I mean, do you even remember everything you’ve done? You figured out the password to the computer at the Celestial, you came up with using the portal gun to escape the Vaanti, you helped fight off Cetus, twice might I add, and thwarted a bunch of highly trained mercenaries. Need I go on?”

“Most of that was everyone else-”

“And _you_ along with them. If you want my opinion, it’s because you inspire us. You have this… _way_ of making people believe in the impossible.”

“That…that’s kind of an exaggeration-”

Estela pressed her finger to Taylor’s lips and continued. “But you need to remember this; I’m here for you. And so is everyone else. So stop pushing away our help.” She gave a stern glance at him before removing her finger and letting him talk again.

“Estela, I…”Taylor just stared at her in awe for a few seconds. “Thank you. I really don’t deserve you.”

“Wrong line,” she growled and flicked his forehead.

“ _Ow_. Alright, lesson learned.”

“Good,” Estela looked smug.

“But still, thank you,” Taylor smiled. “That…that really helped.”

Estela smiled back, and then laughed. “It’s a weird change, isn’t it? Me being optimistic and hopeful. You’re rubbing off on me.”

“I’d like to think I’m a positive influence,” he said with his trademark cheekiness.

“Hm. I guess you are.” She pressed her smile against Taylor’s.

When she pulled away, Taylor couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off her, caught by the emotion in her brown eyes while she was looking at him.

“Hey,” Estela said, the smile never leaving her face. “I love you.”

Taylor gave a small gasp, and then he mirrored Estela’s smile and answered back.

_If I lay here,_

_If I just lay here,_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_


End file.
